Grand Announcements
by TwiTFotVcontest
Summary: Bella's joyful announcement halts Alice's plans to make an announcement of her own. When she finally has a creative plan to tell her news, it comes back to bite her in the ass. Entry for The Fruit's on the Vine Twific Contest


**The Fruit's On The Vine Twific Contest**

**Title**: Grand Announcements

**Pairing**: Normal pairing (mainly E&B, J&A)

**Genre**: Family/Humor

**Summary**: Bella's joyful announcement halts Alice's plans to make an announcement of her own. When she finally has a creative plan to tell her news, it comes back to bite her in the ass.

**Disclaimer****: **I do not own anything you might recognize (i.e. Stephenie Meyer, _Twilight_, Bella, Edward). Also these pregnancy announcements actually did happen, just not by me.

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***Bella's POV***

My eyes fluttered as the swell of emotions washed over me. I arched my neck, enticing him to bring his lips back against my skin. I bit my lip as he dropped open-mouthed kisses between my breasts. His hands—rough from his military work—went to my hips to keep them steady on the bed.

"Edward," I breathed, not sure how much more I could take of his sweet, delicious torture. My heart was pounding as my conflicting emotions fear and bliss filled me from head to toe. I fought back the negativity that lingered around the edges of my mind and threatened to spill tears. _No crying over what I can't change; only happy tears_, I reminded myself.

"Beautiful." His breath was hot against my sternum as he kissed the skin covering my heart. "My beautiful wife."

A traitorous tear rolled down my cheek.

"Oh, Bella," he whispered, the heartache eminent in his voice as he brought his handsome face up to be level with mine. He removed the hand that was caressing the skin along my pelvis to catch my tear with the tip of his finger.

We both looked at the teardrop sitting on the pad of his finger. It brought back memories of the first time he had left me. "How we are one and the same," he'd whispered. And just like back then, he brought the teardrop to his eye and blinked it in. We became one, just like we were meant to be.

"I love you," I whispered, stroking his cheek. "I love you so much."

The corner of his mouth tilted up in a rueful manner. He brought his lips down to kiss me, and his tongue teased mine. My fingers brushed against the short hair at the base of his neck as I held him closer.

His hips moved against mine, and it felt familiar—passionate. I would never get enough of it.

His fingers trailed down my side, my skin slick with sweat. I brought him closer, and as he moved with me, I wrapped my hands around his bicep and got lost in the feeling.

"I never get enough of this," he muttered, echoing my thought.

I rested my chin on his chest. "Hmm?" I was curious as to where he was going with this. "Enough of sex?" I asked playfully.

Edward chuckled. "No, though true nonetheless." His face changed at an obviously lustful thought and he growled playfully at me, and then laughed when I playfully slapped him on his chest for being crude. "What I meant was that I could never get enough of these quiet moments with you. Having my heart right next to yours. I love you, Angel."

I closed my eyes in bliss. My sweet Marine and his tender heart. It was one of the many traits that I loved about him, on top of his fiercely protective nature that he extended toward his close friends and family, and his sweet, sensitive soul beneath the hard masculine shell, and his smart-ass responses, and...well, everything. I simply loved him, flaws and all included.

"I can't let you go," I whispered. The thought of letting him go again put a lump in my throat.

"I know. But it's only for three more months."

"And then you're out."

"And then I'm out." I could almost hear the smile in his response.

Edward and I had been married for four years. We had been friends since we were in diapers, but we dated for three years before finally getting married. If it weren't for his sister our freshman year in college, we couldn't have gotten past the hurdle of friendship. That darn sneaky pixie still liked to rub it in my face that I had to name my first born after her. Even if it turned out to be a boy.

Shortly after getting engaged, Edward enlisted in the military. Since then, it was God first, Family second, and _Semper Fidelis_ third.

_Always_ faithful.

Being a Marine was in Edward's blood, and I couldn't hold him back when he wanted to join.

The day we got married in the small St. Anne's Catholic Church on a cool June Saturday morning was forever engraved into my memory. The image of my own hero in his dress blues, waiting at the altar for me still turned me into a puddle of goo. The whack in the ass Emmett McCarthy, Edward's best man, gave me in the name of Marine tradition almost caused me to jump out of my skin. Needless to say, Edward had _never_ told me about that tradition and he had to do a good amount of groveling to make it up to me. Oh, and a good smack on Emmett's bride, Rosalie Hale, when it was his turn last year. She nearly decked Edward for it.

Our first year as newlyweds was a good year—the best, in my opinion. That summer, Edward's sister, Alice, married some Texas cowboy down in Dallas and it was hotter than Hades that August. Seeing Alice, who's normally all Gucci and Dior, in good Southern Belle gown and Jasper Whitlock in his Confederate reenactment uniform was a complete cultural shock for a few of the guests. Edward slowly warmed up to "that darn farm, boy" though Jasper still held his Confederate reenactment every other month with other history buffs...and he was a Texas Ranger fan. They argued at least once every time they got together at family reunions over the years.

The first tour in Iraq was torture for our second year of marriage. Every night I had the same nightmare of two military men coming to my front door with that dreadful letter, followed by the military funeral, where the American flag was draped over the coffin that was holding my Edward. The flag was then folded and handed to me, bringing to realization that this was my last connection to him. I woke every morning in a panic with sweat causing my flannel shirt to stick to me. The rest of the day the vision of that inky black coffin would constantly be on my mind. I was eternally thankful to have Edward back in my arms at that end of the tour, foolishly thinking that he would never have to go back.

The second time Edward received orders—this time to Afghanistan—led to the biggest rift between us. My naive brain refused to accept that he had to leave again for what I classified as a hell hole. I threatened him with divorce if he left. Once I said the words, I instantly regretted them. They nearly ended our relationship. However, a night at his parents' for him and a very cold bed for me was the greatest eye opener. I knew I had to let him go; it was who he was, and that someone above would protect him. Also, he promised that this was the last time he would ever be separated from me.

And now, Edward was in my arms, on leave for the holidays. He was going back to Afghanistan in the morning for another three months. Well, in only a couple of hours, I realized as I glanced at the clock. It was after midnight already and Edward needed to be at the airport before six a.m. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep since we went to bed about four hours ago.

"We need to sleep," I whispered, fighting back a sudden yawn.

"Then let's sleep," he whispered back, his voice low as if he were trying not to wake up a sleeping baby nearby.

My heart clinched at the thought of a baby. Edward and I had tried to have a child over the years. I had gotten pregnant sometime last year, but miscarried. My heart still cried for the child that I'd never be able to hold and murmur my love to.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear as my eyes fluttered closed. "With my whole heart."

_***Three Months Later***_

I bounced lightly on the balls of my feet, craning to look over the crowd for my one true love. It had been a long three months since that gloomy morning we parted in this same terminal. I had refused to cry until I could no longer see him. Thankfully his mother was there and was the comforting soul that I needed, allowing me to tear up on her shoulder while trying to sooth me by reminding me it was only temporary. God bless Esme.

Alice, who had flown up to Seattle for the family get-together celebrating Edward's arrival, laughed at me. "Bella, you are starting to act like me. Could you please," she said, grasping my elbow in a subtle motion for me to stop.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "God, where is he?"

Rosalie Hale-McCarty rolled her eyes, smiling. "Knowing Emmett, they are probably in a line at McDonalds. You know him—has to have his Big Mac as soon as he comes back home."

I bit my lip and tried not to tighten my grip on the rolled up paper that I brought. I needed to see him!

It was a pleasure to watch as military members arrived. There were smiles, clapping, high fives, and tears of joy. I had to fight the tears as loved ones were reunited.

My cell phone chirped Edward's little ring tone. I almost tore my jean pocket trying to get the phone out.

_We are on our way out. Emmett needed "real food."_

I laughed and turned to Rose. She simply gave me that "I told you" smirk that she had perfected from living with Emmett for all these years.

Emmett was the first person I saw. His shaved head looked a little odd on his huge frame, though he pulled it off well. I was used to seeing peach fuzz on his head, even little baby curls, but curls weren't for the military men when they were in uniform.

Rosalie ran, heels and all, to her man. He caught her easily, laughing while twirling her around. She wasn't crying, though emotions were clear on her face. Relief. Joy. _Love._

"Bella," Alice said, pointing.

I turned my eyes from Emmett and Rosalie to see a pair of very familiar green eyes.

_Edward!_

The tears started to come as he smiled. He stopped to greet a few people, which slowed him down a little. Shaking my head, I remembered what I held in my hand and unrolled it.

Edward stopped, looking at me as though he was seeing me for the first time as he took in the sign. I knew what was written on the paper. I knew that there would be a picture of proof on it. And I had had to time to process what we had done. Edward, though, was reading the sign, and looking at me as though I had suddenly just transformed into a wolf right before his eyes.

"Daddy?" he mouthed.

I nodded.

He sprinted the last few steps, appearing before me in a flash, taking my face in his hands.

"Are you serious?" he whispered, his eyes locked with mine.

I smiled. "Welcome home, Daddy," I whispered just before Edward kissed me with all that he had.

***Alice's POV***

I watched as my brother reunited with Bella, his lips locked passionately with hers. Jasper put his hand on my shoulder, smirking at the two before us.

Despite the joy that I was feeling at knowing that my brother was home, permanently this time, there was a good chunk of envy laced through it.

Edward broke away from Bella, both of them all smiles.

"When?" he said, glancing down.

Now that there was some space between the two of them, I could see what Edward saw. There, on the paper that Bella refused to leave in the car, was "WELCOME HOME DADDY" printed across the top and bottom. But what shocked me most was the blown up black and white sonogram photo. I couldn't see much but it had to have been a sonogram of a baby. My brother and Bella's baby. My niece or nephew. I couldn't believe that my brother, the one that protected me from school yard bullies growing up and scared away any boys that came to our yard, was having his own baby. A baby that would grow up knowing love and having someone to play with, too.

"Around Christmas," Bella said, looking down at her stomach, laying one hand against her still flat stomach. "Probably that night before you left."

Edward laughed and laid a hand on top of hers. Bringing his forehead to hers, he stared into her eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

Bella teared up and whispered back her own love for him before he leaned in and kissed her again.

I glanced away from their tender moment and looked at Jasper. He stared back, a questioning look in his eyes. He was probably wondering why I wasn't jumping up and down in excitement for them and for us—why I wasn't proclaiming our own good news after hearing theirs.

I shook my head slightly and turned to look back at my brother and sister-in-law who were in a lip-lock once again.

I knew why I was feeling this negative during the most joyous moment we could have witnessed. I had my own news that I wanted to share, but after witnessing this between people I call family, I couldn't share it. I couldn't steal their thunder. It wasn't fair. Not to me, and not to them

So, I kept my mouth shut and watched joy surrounding my brother and his wife.

***A Week Later in Dallas***

It was killing me! I couldn't keep my mouth shut! It wasn't in my nature to remain silent!

"So why you don't tell someone?" I remembered Jasper asking me on the car ride to my parents' house where the "Welcome Home" party was.

I had told him that I couldn't steal their thunder at a party that was for Edward and Bella. I just couldn't just put myself on the spotlight like that. Jasper just rolled his eyes. I also told him that, after the romantic way Bella told Edward that they were expecting, just declaring myself nine weeks pregnant would have looked horrible, like I was trying to steal their moment.

But I need to announce our pregnancy somehow, something memorable. Maybe a blimp?

Mmm...yeah, no blimp. That was as tacky as trying to propose on the big screen at some sports game. What were those screens called again? Jasper said once that it was called a jumbo thing. He would know, as he was obsessed with some team called Rangers and Cowboys. He was such a southern boy.

Jasper played with my hair as I rested my head on his thigh. We were having a lazy Saturday morning, just lying around at the house. I loved the feeling of his hands in my hair, despite that the length didn't give him much to play with.

"I need to get new boots today," Jasper muttered, his thumb stroking my hair line.

"Mmm," I said, closing my eyes. "God, if only we could use your cowboy boots. Only you would have more boots than me."

Then I got an idea. I startled Jasper when I suddenly sat up, proclaiming, "That's it!" Turning to him, smiling, I said, "I have the _perfect_ way to announce our pregnancy."

I grabbed hold of his hands and, with little success, pulled Jasper up.

"Come on," I moaned, pouting a little.

With a chuckle, Jasper stood up and gave me a hug.

"All right, what's your plan?"

By the next morning, I had everything prepared. Now all I had to do was post the picture and let it spread.

I moaning in pleasure as Jasper rubbed the sole of my foot.

"God, my feet hurt," I muttered, moaning again when his thumb pressed into my arch.

"I did try to warn you that wearing new boots all day might not have been the best idea," he pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, waving away his pesky words. "But you gotta admit it's a very cute idea."

He chuckled. "It was a very cute and _fitting_ way to announce your pregnancy."

"_Our_ pregnancy," I corrected, smiling.

It was, as he said, a very fitting way to announce our pregnancy. To complete the idea, I had to get a pair of cowboy boots. I nearly went with a cute pink pair, but went with a tan pair instead after seeing the beautiful detail sewn, into the leather. Breaking in the boots, though, so that they didn't look new for the photo, was a pain in the ass. I would have had Jasper break them in if I didn't have tiny feet.

As soon as the leather looked good and worn, I set my pair next to Jasper's old pair and between them a tiny pair of booties. I nearly cried—darn, those hormones—when Jasper found them in the store. They were a pair of miniature boots for our little cowboy, or cowgirl, that I was carrying. I rewarded Jasper with a lingering kiss, right there in front of the shoppers.

To finish the idea, I placed a little piece of paper on top of the booties. "Arriving November 2013."

I reached for my phone and pulled up Facebook. First entry on the feed was a photo of Bella and Edward. Mom must have gone with them to their first joint visit to Bella's doctor. The sonogram tech was pointing out something on the screen in front of her, smiling in Edward and Bella's direction. Edward looked a little silly, beaming from ear to ear, while Bella looked like she was trying not to cry as she smiled. There was a collage in the background of different families with their newest bundle of joy, all smiling despite the pain they probably went through just before the pictures were taken.

"_We got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time" _said the caption.

I had been surprised when Bella told me she decided not to hear the baby's heartbeat in her first prenatal visit. She wanted to hear the baby with Edward for the first time. Her doctor agreed to hold off on listening for the heartbeat for a few more weeks so Edward could be there.

I smiled and showed Jasper the picture.

He returned the smile. "They are going to be great parents."

"So will you," I pointed out.

"Are you going to post now?" he asked.

I nodded, going through the motions of posting the photo of our announcement. After posting the picture, I felt tired all of a sudden and let out a yawn.

"Nap time for Little Momma?"

I giggled, nodding.

Jasper, in his usual sweet way, picked me up and carried me to our bedroom for a mid-morning nap, my cell left behind to give me some peace and quiet.

My nap was wonderful and lasted about two hours. Once I woke up, I made a quick chicken stir-fry before Jasper headed to the hospital for a shift. After eating the last bite of chicken, I spent a few hours paying some bills that were due and wrote a few email responses to my clients. It wasn't until later, when I sat down to watch my afternoon soap operas and a pineapple smoothie I just made, that I noticed the blinking red alert light on my cell.

Sipping on the smoothie, I ran my thumb over the screen to unlock it.

I blinked at seeing that I had twenty-three Facebook alerts and a voice-mail. I opened the app for Facebook, slightly curious as to what caused my phone to blow up.

I squealed when I saw that the twenty-three alerts were comments that my friends posted on the announcement photo I had posted. Excited, I pulled up the photo to read the comments.

_**Emmett McCarty:**__ Haha, not falling for it._

_**Angela Cheney:**__ So cute! I hope you use this similar set up when you are expecting :)_

_**Rosalie Hale-McCarty:**__ I didn't believe Emmett for a second when he told me you posted this. You better not be yanking my chain!_

_**Esme Cullen:**__ OMG, please tell me you are serious? You are serious right?! This better not be some sort of joke!_

_**Carlisle Cullen:**__ Your mother just told me check this photo. If true, congrats! If not, I'd hide from your mother._

_**Esme Cullen:**__ Not funny dear._

_**Bella Marie Swan Cullen:**__ Trying to call you! Please let this not be an April Fool's Joke!_

Wide eyed, I checked the date at the corner of my screen. Sure enough, it was April 1, 2013.

"Holy shit!" I quickly looked at the miss calls I had. Three from my mother, one from Angela, and one from Bella.

I entered the code for my voicemail and listened to Bella simply request that I call her back. Huh, I had expected it to be from my mother.

Bella picked up immediately. "Please tell me that you really are expecting!" she whispered excitedly. "I can't believe I didn't realize it's April Fool's Day!" I groaned, smacking my forehead.

"I knew it was true!" She giggled. "You wouldn't have done something that creative for a prank."

"The thing is," I said, completely embarrassed at how this played out, "I wasn't planning on announcing it like that to begin with."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when Edward came home and I told you I had something to tell you?"

"Of course," Bella said, and I could almost see her nod. "OH, you were going to tell everyone at Edward's "Welcome Home" Party?"

I lay down on the couch, my pineapple smoothie on the coffee table, and whispered, "I figured that since everyone was already there that I could announce that I was expecting. But then you did that really sweet "Welcome Home Daddy" sign at the airport and I couldn't ruin the night for you."

"But now everyone thinks that you are joking," Bella stated.

I sighed, feeling the tears coming. Damn hormones. I had been crying at the drop of a hat lately. I watched a commercial about toilet paper and ended up bawling like a baby afterwards.

"Oh, Alice," Bella said, trying to comfort me. "You wouldn't have ruined anything. Edward would have loved coming home to hear that he was expecting a child _and_ a niece or nephew. You know Edward loves children."

This was also why he was going back to school to get his degree in pediatric nursing. My brother had the sweetest heart towards children, and often got upset at hearing some news report about child abuse. Guidance counselors thought that maybe he should consider a degree in social work.

"So, how about you go now and correct everyone's assumption that you're joking?" Bella said once I had calmed down enough.

Nodding, I thanked Bella for her putting up with my tears.

Laughing, she replied, "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be calling you one of these days in tears about how some granola bar commercial that was just _so_ touching."

I smiled and said goodnight to her.

Getting back onto Facebook, I went to post a new status.

_**Mary Alice Cullen Whitlock:**__ I would like to announce that despite what today is, I AM in fact expecting a little one come this November!_

No sooner than I had posted it, the status received a like and a comment.

_**Edward Anthony Cullen**__: Congratulations sis. You will make a wonderful mother. Love you. (PS- I love the picture you posted. I'm guessing Jasper found the booties *smile*)_

Smiling, I closed my eyes, absorbing his love through the screen. I couldn't wait to hold my baby. Hell, I couldn't wait for my brother to hold his own child and mine...and for me to hold his. I could almost see him, staring down with tears in his loving eyes at his little bundle.

I couldn't wait for that day to come.

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**Public voting: August 26, 2013 to September 13, 2013.**


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